Here is a poem that i have been working on recently. I woke up one morning and poured all of my emotions of my life's recent events onto paper. It was extremely therapeutic, and i many ways inspirational. I haven't written music or poems since High school, so i have decided to go back to my roots on this one.
So now i give you :
Love: Misunderstood
I never really understood why things have to change, but now I know in many ways they will never be the same.
I love you, I love you not is a child's game we play, but now it seems that it has become reality for many these days.
Anger and frustration is all that comes to mind, but I know in sometime it will eventually subside.
What do I say to her, that's my biggest fear. When she ask where u went, I'll do my best to hold back all those tears.
She loved you more than life, I want to let you know. Your the memory behind all of those beautiful photos.
"she'll forget, she'll forget, she's young you see". But does it make it easier on the heart, soul, and mind for you and me?
To not have to whisper that family destroying phrase, Is goal that I yearn and hope for each day.
Why does life have to be so hard, cold, and twisted. Wasn't our life good? Was it something that we said or did to make you not want to miss it?
Seeing all of this makes me really question Love. What is it truly, do we even know?
Is it beautiful memories that we shatter and throw to hell? Or is it promises that we pretend to keep, know all is not well? Or is it running off to be next to those who are only blood deep, because for me silly me I thought Love is all we need.
But for me Love is this beautiful angel face that sleeps next to me. And no matter what I could never shatter her world, even if it meant a sliver of some type of happiness that I seek.
Love for me is sticking it out when times are rough or hard, and knowing that we will always be together, that's what marriage is for.
So as I turn and stare at the setting sun, I take in some of the deep cool air into my lung. I wipe away one lone tear from cheek, standing still not wanting to speak. I then turn to yell out into the world "why" ,as i gaze at the stars in the now dusk sky. Knowing deep down that the answer i seek will never come, but then i turn and smile because a new and better chapter has begun.
i get it, amaris. this is about me and the difficult decision i've made. you can't possibly understand and i'm not asking you to. there are some things in life that no one should be expected to endure. i've chosen to live without those things and be happy and healthy. this has nothing to do with you or layla or the extended family. i'm sorry for the hurt and disappointment. please try not to throw rocks or judge what you truly don't know or understand. appearances can be so deceiving.
ReplyDeletei still love you all very much and this does not need to be the end but i understand that you will all choose bill. he needs you all very much right now so please wrap your loving arms around him and keep him safe.